They must have been wrong!

Seriously,  I feel like I am dying of heat.  I wake up feeling like I am in a toaster.  I walk around the house half nekked.  I cannot get cool.  This is not a hot flash, people.  I am melting, 24/7! 

Success and a few other things

I am not handy with computer upgrades, drivers, additions, etc.  In fact,  suck at them, and am always ruining things.  Today we decided that we were going to finally add our extender wireless device.  This is a pretty cool device because if you connect your printer to it, you can print wirelessly to a printer that isn't wireless.  If that makes sense. . .  Before we even get started, we are confused.  So we call Apple.  Apple has great customer service.  The problem just lies in the fact that everything we try to do is more confusing that our feeble minds are able to attempt.  But we got through it.  Next, we had to then download the driver information onto the computer.  I was sure, since my past experience has shown this to be true, that we would not be able to get this driver installed correctly.  So Paul took my computer, and within seconds, he had printed wirelessly from my computer.  It's like my wonderful Apple computer knew what I wanted to do, and that I might melt down permanently if it didn't work.  My Apple loves me.  I love my Apple.

Other news, the transplant is definitely postponed.  I feel so bad for Frank. 

Postponed?

It looks like the kidney recipient may not be ready yet for my kidney.  This is distressing to me because I have planned out my next month depending on the surgery.  At the same time, I am a little relieved because Paul needs me so much.

I did find out that I don't have breast cancer.  That's a good thing.  I don't know if I have to do an echocardiogram though.

This hiccup in the road means that the next time I am available for the transplant is December. 

Desperate for my airplane medicine

I got a little bit of bad news last night.  It involved a tax question that may hamper the rest of my year.  I am not even sure who to ask and get the answer I want.  My accountant brought it up, but I think he might be wrong.  But I can't ask the plan administrator.  They hate me, and will do anything to make sure I am screwed. 

So as mulled these things in my head and unable to sleep, I took a Xanax.  Ah, sweet bliss, and who frickin' cares about taxes anyway.

The mammogram

I have done lots of tests to prepare for the transplant.  Most are just no big deal, drawing blood, hooking up heart monitors, etc.  Of course, I had to finally get a mammogram yesterday.  When I turned 40 (7 years ago), my doctor and I discussed the mammogram idea.  Since I didn't have a history of breast cancer, and since I regularly checked myself out, we/I decided that we wouldn't discuss it again until I was 45.  At that point, we brought it up again, and I told the doctor that I would do it when I was 46.  I changed doctors in the mean time, and didn't do it.  But now to prepare for the transplant I had to do it.  When I was in there, the lady asked me how I got to 47 without ever having gone to get one.  I responded that I was thrilled I got that far without getting "caught." 

I had heard all sorts of rumors and read all sorts of fun stories about a mammogram.  Not being very well endowed, I couldn't envision what it would even be like.  There isn't anything on my anatomy large enough to place under the car tire.  Little did I know that the nurse would be pulling all the skin on my chest to make it spread out onto a plate and then placing another plate on top to squish it out.  AND not gently.  What the heck?!  Four times!  My guess is that it must hurt a lot for women who have much more "skin" on their chest.  Wowzee, ouch.  I would way rather have a pap smear than a mammogram.  Anyday.

I had a CT scan so the doctors could figure out which kidney they were going to take.  They inject you with a dye.  The injection only lasts about 10 seconds.  And by the way, where does it go after the 10 seconds?  I have no idea.  Anyway, you can feel the injection spread quickly through your body.  When it reaches your privates, they get super hot and it feels like you wet your pants.  Haha.  What a weird feeling.  Luckily they warned me that would happen.  It nearly made me laugh, which would have ruined the CT scan.  Anyway, my left kidney is the one that is up for grabs.

They found an issue with my EKG, so they may do an Echo.  I love all this free health care I am getting.  I hope in the end my health is good enough to donate.  However, if it isn't, at least I know exactly what is wrong with me.  I hope I don't have breast cancer.

Happy Birthday to me!

It started out pretty rough.  Paul was sick with a fever going up and down.  The transplant people were concerned and actually wanted him to go to the emergency room.  My plans for 6 Flags slowly went down the drain.  Saddened, we went to the doctor where they gave Paul a giant shot.  The doctor assured me that he would be OK if I left for the day.  At Paul's insistence I went ahead with my trip to 6 Flags.  What fun!  I got to ride the roller coaster (the Cobra) with Adam and Caleb (well Caleb went with his mom, but we were in line together).  I got to hold Levi lots, to the point of him throwing up on me.  I got to have great conversations with Kyle and Christina. 

I am pretty sure Levi called me Grandma.  I think that would be the best birthday gift I could get.  We were watching the dolphin show.  I don't recall that he even noticed there were dolphins last time we went, but this time, he looked at me and commented, "eh?" everytime the dolphins jumped.  He would even puts his hands up like, "what is this?"  He enjoyed the whole show.  Toward the end he was standing (yes, standing) on his mom's lap watching the show.  He called over to me "grandma" as if to make sure that I was watching.  It was pretty awesome. 

Poor little Adam got sick and threw up 4 times before we got back to the car to go home.  He said during his 2nd episode, "I hate this, it is disgusting."  I would have to agree.  Pretty gross.

On the way home Caleb said, "Hey Grandma, I thought today was your birthday."  I told him that yes, today was my birthday.  Then he proceeded to ask about my presents.  There were no presents, but I could see this would confuse him, so I told him the presents were at my house.  He thought for a second and then asked, "When we get to your house, can I open one of your presents?"  Aw, what a cutie.

My friend, Jill, made me a giant chocolate cake with Reece's Peanut Butter cups cut up on top.  It was wonderful.  I had it in place of a couple of meals.

I had a great birthday!

Not again

I have avoided writing about my random thoughts on what is going on.  I think that I keep thinking if I just ignore it, it will go away.  Not so.  I know better. 

We are looking at likely losing our only source of income.  It has been devastating to the psyche of Paul.  I have fasted a couple of times about it, and don't feel that things are going to turn out bad.  Paul however feels that he won't ever work again. 

We should have known about 1 year ago.  A couple of things happened at work that indicated there was an undercurrent.  Then Paul got sick, and we mostly focused on his health.  When we were getting ready for Paul to get back to work after the transplant, we had a feeling of foreboding. 

I wish we would have planned better.  I wish it wouldn't happen.  But I know that all will be well. . . eventually.

TMI, TMI, TMI

I am doing a 24 hour urine collection.  I started this morning.  For men, they just give you a jug and you just pee in the jug.  For women, it is a two step process, since hitting the top of the jug might be difficult, they give you cups to pee in that can be transferred to the jug.  No problem, right?  Well, except the cups are tiny little Dixie cups.  I knew when I first got them out that they would be too small, and I would need at least 3 of them if not more.  First of all, I have to respond quickly when I have to "go."  I have to do it right then or I might have an accident.

I get settled in and have one cup to the ready in my right hand, two in my left hand, and the jug in front of me on the floor, thinking I could handle the situation.  The pee starts flowing, first cup full, I attempt to stop the flow.  CRAP!  I can't stop it enough, and a quick change to the second cup is awkward due to the limited space.  As I try to maneuver the second cup under the first to not lose anything, the first one tips, and small amounts of urine are lost to the toilet.  Three cups and running urine all in one small area just is not working.  As the second cup begins to fill, the third cup is getting a little because I never had a chance to put it down.  I am trying to still move the first cup out of the way, desperately, I get pee on my  hands, spill it on my leg, on my dress, and on the floor.  Still peeing along the way, I am trying to get the largest sample possible.

I failed my first urine test.  I totally forgot to wipe too.  Next time I will use the big 16 ounce red plastic cups that I have in my kitchen.  What a disaster!

Gratitude

I got a call last night from my friend's wife.  She was so grateful that I was a match and willing to donate.  I felt a little awkward while she thanked me.  It almost seems like it would be better if it wasn't acknowledged.  Not sure why that would be the case.

I am a Match

I found out today that I am a match for my friend at church.  My kidney can save his life.  While I have been through the whole process with my husband as recipient and son as donor, I kind of thought today wouldn't come.

I think since I was quickly ruled out as a donor for my husband, that my kidney would never be acceptable to another person.  However, I thought that I would go ahead and be tested for my friend.  He is too old to be placed on the cadaver donor list and would, therefore, only be eligible for a transplant if he brought his own donor.  I think I thought I would never match.  But at the same time, my heart said I need to be tested anyway.  It only took two weeks, and I only thought a little bit about it during that time.

When I got the results today, I immediately thought, of course, I can't NOT give it.  This is his life.  I can save the life of another human being.  It is a little overwhelming and very humbling. 

Now the process begins, and I hope to get through it quickly, since I start pharmacy school on August 29.  Oh, and my son gets married on August 20.  Oh, and also I don't finish this semester until August 4.  I told the transplant people I want August 5.  I hope we can get it all together.

I go down to San Francisco in 2 weeks to have a battery of tests run.  I hope that my friend can get all his tests done in time too.  It is all very exciting, but scary too.