JoAnn Roberts 2009

My mom would have been 81 today.  She died in November 2012, during my second year of pharmacy school.  Here is a picture of us in 2006.  She had fallen on her motorized scooter and ended up in the hospital (the reason for the bruises on her chin and cheek).  After this, she was moved into a nursing home.  She never remembered that I visited her that week.  I sent her scrap books of our family to remind her of who we were.  She didn't have Alzheimer's but she had dementia, so she didn't recall a lot of things.  I think it was hard on a lot of people to see her in that kind of setting.  In the end, she was one of the favorites at the nursing home.  I know that several of the workers came to her funeral.  My relationship with my mother was so different from most people's.  I often wonder what it will be like to see her again in the eternities.

Get out of church "FREE?"

I am waiting for my straight iron to heat up.  This morning is stake conference.  My view of stake conference and general conference have changed over time.  When I was a little girl, I could not stand the long boring talks that I sat through.  And since we lived it Utah, they could not be escaped because my parents would turn on the radio and play them throughout the weekend.  It just seemed endless to me.  I could never focus on any one talk long enough to ever enjoy it, or even to understand it.  So growing up, it never held my interest.  When I had kids of my own, the only thing I could think about was how bored they would be with the whole process as well.  So we took our kids up to the mountains or on long drives during stake and general conference.  I actually even called it "get out of church free" day.  I know, I know, this may qualify me for the "Bad Mom Lifetime Award."  So at some point, I actually began to listen to some of those talks.  It wasn't when I was truly converted, it was years later.  I must say, it was probably 12-15 years later, beyond when my kids had grown, later.  I have really only ever sat through 2-3 general conferences and enjoyed most of the talks.  Just recently I have begun to crave the words spoken and am anxiously awaiting today's stake conference and the next general conference.

So the question is.....how do we repent and rectify such a disservice that I have heaped onto my children?  Clearly, the sin of this parent will be laid upon her children.  They saw my attitude.  I see it in them.  Their words reflect my very own.  Sometimes we think we are funny and justified in picking and choosing the parts of the Gospel that we want to live and cast the other to the wind, only to later down the road regret those choices.

Don't get my wrong.  My kids are amazing with great testimonies.  I think they must be stronger spirits that this old woman.  Anyway, I hope that with some of the other things we taught them, they are able to get over my poor teachings. =)