It's in de past

I did something that I thought would be good today.  Instead I ended up in a sobbing heap.  I found a journal from 1993.  It was a tumultuous time in my life.  I decided I would read it.  As I was reading, I began to feel incredibly sad for the life that I lived at that time.  Instead of just stopping, I forced myself to continue.  As I finished up the 4-5 month journal I was sobbing. It was so horrible. I felt like I was reliving the past.  I cannot even imagine why I continued to read.  My dogs followed me around closely afterwards as if to help calm me.  But all I could do was cry.  I thought journal keeping was supposed to be wonderful.  Nope, not today.  I will be throwing that one away.