Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Halloween and the holidays

Today is Halloween.  I am looking forward to so many things as the weather turns cold.  I look forward to waking up to a cold room because I like to sleep with windows open. I look forward to seeing all the Christmas decorations and sales begin.  I look forward to my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. 

I feel good in my life.  I cry a little every day.  Sometimes I actually create a situation where I know I will cry.  I will put on sappy love songs or religious songs that talk about missing a loved one.  I think it is ok to evoke these emotions.  I want to make sure that I feel the pain of losing Paul.  I want to remember how much I love him and miss him.  Then when I am done, I turn the songs off and move forward with my life.  I hope it is a healthy grief.  So stupid that I have to worry about grieving properly so I don't become some freak who never gets over my husband's death.

I enjoy my dog.  He has a couple of issues, like chewing everything up.  But he keeps me company and spends every moment he can with me.  I love that he loves me.  And I love that I have someone to hug when I need a little hug.

Random.  Sorry.

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